When Rajiv’s daughter Ananya was in tenth grade, their dinner table conversations revolved almost entirely around marks. Report cards, mock exams, entrance prep…. it felt like everything in her life came down to numbers. Rajiv believed he was motivating her by emphasizing grades. Instead, he noticed her becoming quieter, less engaged, and increasingly anxious.
One evening, after another round of questions about her test scores, Ananya said softly “Papa, I know my marks are important. But they don’t tell you who I am.”
That moment stayed with him.
For years, GPA has been the gold standard, the shorthand for discipline and potential. Parents hold onto it because it feels like something solid in a world that keeps changing. But research is clear: test scores alone don’t prepare young people for the challenges ahead. Today, self-awareness i.e. understanding strengths, motivations, and values matters just as much, if not more.
Psychologists note that adolescence is the most important window for developing identity and emotional self-awareness. Teens who understand their strengths and weaknesses build stronger coping skills, make better choices, and report higher confidence.
Schools that integrate social-emotional learning (SEL), which places self-awareness at the center, have also reported clear academic gains. In one large review, students in SEL programs showed an 11-percentile-point improvement in achievement compared to peers who didn’t participate. That means focusing on identity and self-reflection isn’t just “soft.” It strengthens performance.
Rajiv decided to change how he approached Ananya. Instead of asking only about scores, he began asking what she enjoyed that week, or when she felt most energized. At first she shrugged, but slowly her answers became clearer. She realized she loved group projects and visual thinking. That insight gave her direction in a way that numbers never had.
Grades will always play a role, but they measure only what a student knows in the moment. Self-awareness gives them the confidence to choose courses, internships, and careers that align with who they are. In today’s world, where the average person changes careers five to seven times in their lifetime, adaptability and clarity are far more valuable than one number on a transcript.
